Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

“Nature is the curer of disease.”  Hippocrates, (the father of medicine)

After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, ‘Maybe life isn’t for everyone. ‘ Larry Brown.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.    Samuel Goldwyn

She got her looks from her father: He’s a plastic surgeon.    Groucho Marx

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.    Dick Wilson

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.    Jerry Vale

The art of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects the cure.    Voltaire

There must be something to acupuncture. After all, you never see any sick porcupines!    Bob Goddard

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health.  ~ Henri Amiel

Drugs are not always necessary. Belief in recovery always is.  ~ Norman Cousins

Treat the patient, not the Xray.  ~ James M. Hunter

After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.  ~ W C Fields

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.  ~ Anonymous

The most important practical lesson than can be given to nurses is to teach them what to observe.   ~ Florence Nightingale

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors.  ~  Gerhard Kocher

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse.   ~ Elizabeth Kenny

To do what nobody else will do, in a way that nobody else can do, in spite of all we go through; that is to be a nurse.   ~ Anonymous

Troubles are like babies – they only grow by nursing.   ~ Douglas Jerrold

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake!   ~ Martin H. Fischer

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him?   ~ Martin H. Fischer

Medicines heals doubts as well as diseases.   ~ Karl Marx

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. ~ Cicero

My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I’m ashamed of what I think of doctors in general. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians for the body and physicians for the soul, although the two cannot be separated. ~ Plato

Body and soul cannot be separated for purposes of treatment, for they are one and indivisible. Sick minds must be healed as well as sick bodies. ~ C. Jeff Miller

In the sick room, ten cents’ worth of human understanding equals ten dollars’ worth of medical science. ~ Martin H. Fischer

It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. ~ Author Unknown

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. ~ Robert Burton

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. ~ James H. Boren

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier’s office. ~ Francis O’Walsh

Did God who gave us flowers and trees,Also provide the allergies? ~ E.Y. Harburg, “A Nose Is a Nose Is a Nose,” 1965

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~ Bill Walton

It is a wise mans part, rather to avoid sickness, than to wishe for medicines. ~ Thomas More, Utopia sic

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor’s bill an’ ye niver can read his purscription. ~ Finley Peter Dunne

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax – tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.  ~ Pearl Williams

To array a man’s will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine.  ~ Henry Ward Beecher

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

Surgeons must be very careful When they take the knife! Underneath their fine incisions Stirs the Culprit – Life!  ~ Emily Dickinson

It is a good thing for a physician to have prematurely grey hair and itching piles. The first makes him appear to know more than he does, and the second gives him an expression of concern which the patient interprets as being on his behalf.  ~ A. Benson Cannon

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment.  ~ Author Unknown

One thousand Americans stop smoking every day – by dying.  ~ Author Unknown

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.  ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. ~ Voltaire

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car.  ~ J.J. Walsh

Every disease is a physician.  ~ Irish Proverb

God heales, and the Physitian hath the thankes.  ~ George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs

Drugs are not always necessary. Belief in recovery always is.  ~ Norman Cousins

I firmly believe that if the whole materia medica could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind and all the worse for the fishes.  ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health.  ~ Henri Amiel

Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust. ~ Don Herold

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake!  ~ Martin H. Fischer

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary.  ~ Elbert Hubbard

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is – if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess.  ~ Nicholas de Belleville

Throw physic to the dogs; I’ll none of it.  ~ William Shakespeare

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford.  ~ Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. ~ Peter Mere Latham

In the nineteenth century men lost their fear of God and acquired a fear of microbes.  ~ Author Unknown

Symptoms, then are in reality nothing but the cry from suffering organs.  ~ Jean Martin Charcot, translated from French

I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.  ~ Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat

Diagnosis is not the end, but the beginning of practice.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command.  ~ Alexander of Tralles

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it.  ~ Author Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor.  ~ August Bier

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool.  ~ Arabic Proverb

Medicines are not meat to live by.  ~ German Proverb

Treat the patient, not the Xray.  ~ James M. Hunter

God and the Doctor we alike adore But only when in danger, not before; The danger o’er, both are alike requited, God is forgotten, and the Doctor slighted.  ~ Robert Owen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease.  ~ Roul Turley

The hospital is the only proper College in which to rear a true disciple of Aesculapius. ~ John Abernethy

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

Better to hunt in fields, for health unbought, Than fee the doctor for a nauseous draught, The wise, for cure, on exercise depend; God never made his work for man to mend.  ~ John Dryden

Medicine is the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence.  ~ James Bryce, 1914

It is not a case we are treating; it is a living, palpitating, alas, too often suffering fellow creature.  ~ John Brown

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him?  ~ Martin H. Fischer

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man – he must view the man in his world. ~ Harvey Cushing

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it.  ~ Ovid, Tristia

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host.  ~ Charles V. Chapin

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell.  ~ Lewis G. Janes

Until a physician has killed one or two he is not a physician.  ~ Kashmiri Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself.  ~ Chinese Proverb

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you – that action on your part which best conserves the interests of your patient.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

To me the ideal doctor would be a man endowed with profound knowledge of life and of the soul, intuitively divining any suffering or disorder of whatever kind, and restoring peace by his mere presence.  ~ Henri Amiel

Medicinal discovery, It moves in mighty leaps, It leapt straight past the common cold And give it us for keeps.  ~ Pam Ayres

When you no longer know what headache, heartache, or stomachache means without cistern punctures, electrocardiograms and six x-ray plates, you are slipping.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

It is easy to get a thousand prescriptions but hard to get one single remedy.  ~ Chinese Proverb

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient. ~ William Withey Gull

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician.  ~ William Cullen, Practice of Physic

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary’s shop.  ~ William Withey Gull

A Short History of Medicine:  2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.” . . . 1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.” . . . 1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.” . . . 1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” . . . 1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.” . . . 2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.”  ~ Author Unknown

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured.  ~ Anton Chekhov, The Cherry Orchard

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away.  ~ German Proverb

No doctor is better than three.  ~ German Proverb

I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-coloured, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills.  ~ Malcolm Muggeridge, 1962

Man may be the captain of his fate, but is also the victim of his blood sugar.  ~ Wilfrid G. Oakley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine.  ~ Peter Mere Latham

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician’s visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness.  ~ Warfield Theobald Longcope

Who ever thought up the word “Mammogram?” Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.  ~ Jan King

You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies.  ~ Alonzo Clark

Here’s good advice for practice: go into partnership with nature; she does more than half the work and asks none of the fee.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

Varicose veins are the result of an improper selection of grandparents.  ~ William Osler

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. ~ African Proverb

When you treat a disease, first treat the mind.  ~ Chen Jen

Symptoms are the body’s mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language.  ~ John Brown

The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet and in the cause and prevention of disease.  ~ Thomas Edison

Oh the powers of nature. She knows what we need, and the doctors know nothing.  ~ Benvenuto Cellini

So many come to the sickroom thinking of themselves as men of science fighting disease and not as healers with a little knowledge helping nature to get a sick man well.  ~ Auckland Geddes, The Practitioner

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand.  ~ Dutch Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease.  ~ French Proverb

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing.  ~ Ben Hecht, Miracle of the Fifteen Murderers

The Lord hath created medicines out of the earth; and he that is wise will not abhor them.  ~ Ecclesiasticus 38:4

A drug is that substance which, when injected into a rat, will produce a scientific report.  ~ Author Unknown

Cancer is a word, not a sentence.  ~ John Diamond

The medicalization of early diagnosis not only hampers and discourages preventative health-care but it also trains the patient-to-be to function in the meantime as an acolyte to his doctor. He learns to depend on the physician in sickness and in health. He turns into a life-long patient.  ~ Ivan Illich

Patients may recover in spite of drugs or because of them.  ~ J.H. Gaddum

He’s the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines.  ~ Benjamin Franklin

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

The field of Western medicine has become literally nothing but medicine. Doctors are on their way out, to be replaced by self-serve pharmaceutical vending machines.  ~ Grey Livingston

The fact that your patient gets well does not prove that your diagnosis was correct.  ~ Samuel J. Meltzer

Man is a creature composed of countless millions of cells: a microbe is composed of only one, yet throughout the ages the two have been in ceaseless conflict.  ~ A.B. Christie

Our profession is the only one which works unceasingly to annihilate itself.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

On J-Day our profession will have a lot to answer for! We might at least have withheld our hands instead of making them work against God.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself.  ~ James B. Herrick

Don’t think of organ donations as giving up part of yourself to keep a total stranger alive. It’s really a total stranger giving up almost all of themselves to keep part of you alive.  ~ Author Unknown

Most of those evils we poor mortals know From doctors and imagination flow.  ~ Charles Churchill

Men are not going to embrace eugenics. They are going to embrace the first likely, trim-figured girl with limpid eyes and flashing teeth who comes along, in spite of the fact that her germ plasm is probably reeking with hypertension, cancer, haemophilia, colour blindness, hay fever, epilepsy, and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.  ~ Logan Clendening

Don’t take your organs to heaven with you. Heaven knows we need them here.  ~ Author unknown, attributed to both Dan and Barbara Hladio and Thomas Boyadjis, Sr.

Tis not always in a physician’s power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. ~ Ovid

And lo, The Hospital, grey, quiet, old, Where Life and Death like friendly chafferers meet.  ~ William Ernest Henley

For the most part, Western medicine doctors are not healers, preventers, listeners, or educators. But they’re damned good at saving a life and the other aspects kick the beam. It’s about time we brought some balance back to the scale.  ~ Claire Todae

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage.  ~ William Stewart Halsted

The public blabbers about preventative medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

To save a man’s life against his will is the same as killing him.  ~ Horace

Nowadays the clinical history too often weighs more than the man.  ~ Martin H. Fischer

Hypochondriacs squander large sums of time in search of nostrums by which they vainly hope they may get more time to squander.  ~ Mortimer Collins

One doctor makes work for another.  ~ English Proverb

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too.  ~ Anton Chekhov, Ivanov

Let the young know they will never find a more interesting, more instructive book than the patient himself.  ~ Giorgio Baglivi

Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.  ~ Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.  – W. C. Fields

Comforts and syphilis are the greatest enemies of mankind.  – Alexis Carrel

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. – Steve Martin

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.  – Benjamin Franklin

I don’t believe medical discoveries are doing much to advance human life. As fast as we create ways to extend it, we are inventing ways to shorten it.  – Dr. Christiaan Barnard

Medicine, the only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its existence.  – James Bryce

My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.  – Joey Bishop

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. – Erma Bombeck

One finger in the throat and one in the rectum makes a good diagnostician. – William Osler

The examining physician often hesitates to make the necessary examination because it involves soiling the finger. – William James Mayo

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. – Thomas Fuller

Why, Madam, do you know there are upward of thirty yards of bowels squeezed underneath that girdle of your daughter’s? Go home and cut it; let Nature have fair play, and you will have no need of my advice. – John Abernethy

When all else fails, examine the patient – Unknown

In medicine, as in life, it’s not THE money, it’s the MONEY ! – J.N. Macaluso, Jr

Taxing profits is tantamount to taxing success. — Ludwig von Mises

If you want immortality, come back as a government program – Dick Armey

CREATIVE PUNS FOR ‘EDUCATED MINDS ‘
The roundest knight at King  Arthur ‘s round table was  Sir  Cumference .  He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.

Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

*****

In my many years I have come to  a conclusion that one useless man is a  shame, two is a law  firm and three or more is a  congress. – John  Adams

If you don’t read the  newspaper you are  uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you  are misinformed. – Mark  Twain

Suppose you were an  idiot.  And suppose you were a member of  Congress.  But then I repeat myself. – Mark  Twain

I contend that for a  nation to try to tax itself into  prosperity is like a man standing in a  bucket and trying to lift himself up by  the handle-Winston  Churchill

A government which robs  Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support  of Paul. — George Bernard  Shaw

A liberal is  someone who feels a great debt to his  fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay  off with your money. — G. Gordon  Liddy

Democracy must be  something more than two wolves and a  sheep voting on what to have for  dinner. — James Bovard, Civil  Libertarian (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of  money from poor people in rich  countries to rich people in poor  countries. — Douglas Casey, Classmate of  Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to  government is like giving whiskey and car  keys to teenage  boys. – P.J. O’Rourke, Civil  Libertarian

Government is the great  fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of  everybody else-Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

Government’s view of the  economy could be summed up in a few  short phrases: If it moves, tax  it. If it keeps moving, regulate  it. And if it stops moving,  subsidize it. — Ronald Reagan  (1986)

I don’t make  jokes. I just watch the  government and report the facts. — Will  Rogers

If you think health care  is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs  when it’s free! — P.J.  O’Rourke

In  general, the art of  government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the  other. — Voltaire  (1764)

Just because you do not take an  interest in politics doesn’t mean  politics won’t take an interest in you! — Pericles (430  B.C.)

No man’s life, liberty,  or property is safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain  (1866)

Talk is  cheap… except when Congress does it. —  Anonymous

The government is  like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. — Ronald  Reagan

The inherent vice of  capitalism is the unequal sharing of the  blessings. The inherent blessing of  socialism is the equal sharing of misery. — Winston  Churchill

The only difference  between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark  Twain

The ultimate result of  shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with  fools-Herbert Spencer, English  Philosopher (1820-1903)

There is no distinctly native American criminal  class… save  Congress. — Mark  Twain

What this country  needs are more unemployed  politicians. — Edward Langley, Artist  (1928-1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. — Thomas  Jefferson

My choices early in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference. — Harry Truman

Power corrupts: absolute power corrupts absolutely — Lord Acton

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right! — Henry Ford

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.  –  Abraham Lincoln

The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records. They are written as with a sunbeam in the whole volume of human nature by the hand of Divinity itself, and can never be erased or obscured by mortal power ~ Alexander Hamilton, 1775

When we undertake the impossible, we often fail to do anything at all – Theodore Roosevelt

It is both foolish and wicked to teach the average man who is not well off that some wrong or injustice has been done him, and that he should hope for redress elsewhere than in his own industry, honesty, and intelligence – Theodore Roosevelt

A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user – Theodore Roosevelt

The first requisite of a good citizen in this Republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his own weight. – Theodore Roosevelt

You never have trouble if you are prepared for it. – Theodore Roosevelt

In this country we have no place for hyphenated Americans. – Theodore Roosevelt

Character is far more important than intellect in making a man a good citizen or successful at his calling- meaning by character not only such qualities as honesty and truthfulness, but courage, perseverance and self-reliance. – Theodore Roosevelt

The hardest lessons to learn are those that are the most obvious. – Theodore Roosevelt

“Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far – Theodore Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat. – Theodore Roosevelt – “Citizenship in a Republic,” Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

“There is not in all America a more dangerous trait than the deification of mere smartness unaccompanied by any sense of moral responsibility. – Theodore Roosevelt

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing” – Theodore Roosevelt

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.

When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty.

Where liberty dwells, there is my country.

God grant that not only the love of liberty but a thorough knowledge of the rights of man may pervade all the nations of the earth, so that a philosopher may set his foot anywhere on its surface and say: This is my country.

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

He that lieth down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.

If you would not be forgotten
As soon as you are dead and rotten,
Either write things worthy reading,
Or do things worth the writing.

Never confuse motion with action.

This will be the best security for maintaining our liberties. A nation of well-informed men who have been taught to know and prize the rights which God has given them cannot be enslaved. It is in the religion of ignorance that tyranny begins.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature.

Only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. As nations become more corrupt and vicious, they have more need of masters.

Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

He’s a fool who cannot conceal his wisdom.

What is the use of a new-born child? (When asked the use of a new invention)

…a frequent recurrence to fundamental principles…is absolutely necessary to preserve the blessings of liberty and keep a government free.

There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and more frequently fall than that of defrauding the government.

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.  When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. –  Pastor Adrian Rogers (1931-2005)

It’s not the fastest or the strongest that survive, but the ones with the most ability to change – Charles Darwin

The fact that we experience a spiritual hunger implies that an object exists to satisfy that hunger –  C.S. Lewis

We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive – C. S. Lewis

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is – C. S. Lewis

Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours – C. S. Lewis

Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive – C. S. Lewis

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil – C. S. Lewis

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets – Ronald Reagan

Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them – Ronald Reagan

Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves – Ronald Reagan

How do you tell a communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin – Ronald Reagan

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress – Ronald Reagan

Man is not free unless government is limited – Ronald Reagan

No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this earth! – Ronald Reagan

The problem is not that people are taxed too little, the problem is that government spends too much. – Ronald Reagan

To sit back hoping that someday, some way, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last – but eat you he will – Ronald Reagan

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. – George Washington

The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments – George Washington

I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day – Abraham Lincoln

We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution – Abraham Lincoln

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves. – Abraham Lincoln

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. – Yogi Berra

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much. – Yogi Berra

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase. – Yogi Berra

There are some people who, if they don’t already know, you can’t tell ’em. – Yogi Berra

We have deep depth. – Yogi Berra

You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there. – Yogi Berra

When you get to the fork in the road, take it. –  Yogi Berra

It ain’t over ’till the fat lady sings. – Yogi Berra

“I not only use all the brains I have but all that I can borrow.” ~ Woodrow Wilson, the 28th US President.

“What’s goin’ on?” ~ Marvin Gaye

“I believe in order that I may understand.” ~ St. Augustine

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” ~ C.S. Lewis

“The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork.” ~ Psalms 19:1

“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” ~ Colossians 1:17

“You may often see Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it.” ~ Oswald Chambers

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there – George Harrison (Any Road)

“Life is very short and there’s no time, for fussing and fighting my friend. I have always thought that it’s a crime, so I will ask you once again: try to see it my way, only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there’s a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out.”- The Beatles

Give me love, give me peace on earth, give me light, give me life, keep me free from birth, give me hope, help me cope, with this heavy load, trying to, touch & reach you with heart & soul-George Harrison

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it – Albert Einstein

The difference between stupidity and genius is that … genius has its limits – Albert Einstein

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past & putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before – Art Buchwald

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, they know that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra.

“We should limit politicians to two terms — one in office and one in jail.” — unknown

“…we are a people loath to listen, resistant to reason, imprisoned by our own narratives. And thus, easy to fool every time.” — Leonard Pitts

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” – Jesus of Nazareth (according to St Luke)

“We never understand a thing so well, and make it our own, as wehn we have discovered it for ourselves.” – Rene Descartes

“I have always admired the ability to bite off more than one can chew and then chew it.” – William C. deMille

“We all find comfort among those who agree with us; growth among those who don’t.” – Frank A. Clark

“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” – A.A. Milne

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind.” – Samuel Johnson

” Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow.  The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Mother’s love in never in it’s spring.” – French Proverb

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

“And now let us welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been.” – Corita Kent

Murphy’s Real Laws
Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.
He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I just got lost in thought.  It was unfamiliar territory.
Seen it all, done it all.  Can’t remember most of it.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
You have the right to remain silent.  Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
Just remember if it weren’t for gravity, we’d all fall off.
The 50-50-90 rule:  Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
You can’t have everything.  Where would you put it?
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.  A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals . . . Albert Einstein